Lost in the Fog
The first couple of days after receiving the news about my Prostate Cancer were a blur. Life continued on, much the same as usual; at least for me. I simply willed myself to become deeply engrossed in each day's various activities ... lots of hiding places there!
Soon however, I had to admit that this particular strategy couldn't last. First of all, it was just far too wearing on my emotional life! Also I was pretty sure that this (rather selfish) strategy was having an adverse affect on Marg.
So, I did the only thing , a proud, red blooded, macho Aussie male could do ... I spoke honestly about my feelings to my wife, and we both ... simply dissolved into tears and embraced for the longest time.
I can't explain nor adequately describe, the emotions that welled up in my heart during that time. All I know is that I have never felt so loved; and never have I felt more intense emotions for anyone, than in those amazing moments locked in each others arms!
As I drifted off to sleep that night, I recall thinking, that I simply wasn't ready to let go of the woman I had loved for almost 4 decades; nor was she prepared or willing to undergo such a fate.
"I'm not ready to die" ... I told myself ... "I'm simply not ready yet"!
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