Internal Conflict
Over recent weeks, I have found myself becoming … ‘reactive’ rather than ‘responsive’, in various settings; this has been particularly disturbing at times. By this, I mean that my emotions have held greater sway over my behaviour, than has my analytical, reasoning side. And that for me is disturbing!
Anyone, who knows me, knows that I tend to rely on logic to determine the answer to many of the challenges that confront me. My mind instinctively begins to analyse each situation and explore the various possible scenarios that may be the outcome of a particular choice or series of choices.
I also confess to being obsessive, compulsive and somewhat anal.
Now, that is not to say that I am exclusively that way inclined. I also have a highly tuned intuitive side, which makes for some interesting moments when these two ‘sides’ clash. But of late, this characteristic has been somewhat ‘dormant’.
Further Side Effects
The reason for this sudden about face, I believe, can be laid squarely at the feet of the ‘hormonal therapy’ (HT) that I’m undergoing. Let’s consider the evidence.
Suffice to say a prima facie case exists, to at least warrant further investigation. Ironically, in this case, the wrong ‘prisoner’ (me) is confined to quarters pending a full enquiry!
Consequences
It is so embarrassing to find oneself (over) reacting to situations that previously would have caused only a mere ‘ruffling of the feathers’. Only to realise, somewhat belatedly, that there was perhaps; a more logical reason for the present quandary. I can’t remember a time when I have had to apologise so many times and so often!
Fortunately, my workmates understand my circumstances and have been gracious enough to make allowances for some of my more questionable responses.
What to Do?
If I am to continue for at least another 3 months on this (HT) treatment, then I have to find a way to slow my emotional reactions down, allowing time for a more considered and logical response. Wish me luck!!
Over recent weeks, I have found myself becoming … ‘reactive’ rather than ‘responsive’, in various settings; this has been particularly disturbing at times. By this, I mean that my emotions have held greater sway over my behaviour, than has my analytical, reasoning side. And that for me is disturbing!
Anyone, who knows me, knows that I tend to rely on logic to determine the answer to many of the challenges that confront me. My mind instinctively begins to analyse each situation and explore the various possible scenarios that may be the outcome of a particular choice or series of choices.
I also confess to being obsessive, compulsive and somewhat anal.
Now, that is not to say that I am exclusively that way inclined. I also have a highly tuned intuitive side, which makes for some interesting moments when these two ‘sides’ clash. But of late, this characteristic has been somewhat ‘dormant’.
Further Side Effects
The reason for this sudden about face, I believe, can be laid squarely at the feet of the ‘hormonal therapy’ (HT) that I’m undergoing. Let’s consider the evidence.
1. The lack of testosterone (blocked by the HT) is affecting my ‘maleness’.
2. I am starting to develop … ‘man boobs’.
3. I am experiencing tenderness of the nipples.
4. I am often ‘teary’ for no apparent reason.
5. I am losing muscle strength.
6. My wife and I sympathise over our jointly experiencing ‘hot flushes’.
7. I cry when watching a ‘sad’ movie.
Suffice to say a prima facie case exists, to at least warrant further investigation. Ironically, in this case, the wrong ‘prisoner’ (me) is confined to quarters pending a full enquiry!
Consequences
It is so embarrassing to find oneself (over) reacting to situations that previously would have caused only a mere ‘ruffling of the feathers’. Only to realise, somewhat belatedly, that there was perhaps; a more logical reason for the present quandary. I can’t remember a time when I have had to apologise so many times and so often!
Fortunately, my workmates understand my circumstances and have been gracious enough to make allowances for some of my more questionable responses.
What to Do?
If I am to continue for at least another 3 months on this (HT) treatment, then I have to find a way to slow my emotional reactions down, allowing time for a more considered and logical response. Wish me luck!!
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